Tabula Candida

Doodles of a distracted historian

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Media

Posted on July 25, 2021 by tabulacandida
When archaeologists talk to the media
Archaeologists: We found evidence of bronze smelting on this site dating to several centuries earlier than we expected. That tells us the people here must have been more connected to the long-distance tin trade than we previously believed. This discovery may lead to a rethinking of the history of trade networks throughout the larger region. Any questions?
Reporters: Is the bronze cursed? Could it be aliens? Where are you on a scale of “shocked” to “baffled”? If not cursed, is it at least spooky? Where's your whip?

This is, of course, just a joke–you’d never get that many reporters interested in an archaeology story that didn’t have pyramids and/or mummies in it.

| Tagged archaeology, media

Shire

Posted on May 19, 2021 by tabulacandida
A: Ugh, did you hear there's another new show that's supposed to reveal the “truth” about Atlantis?
B: Pft. Atlantis is easy mode. I'm a Shire truther.
A: Uhh...
B: Look, here are hundreds of pictures of round green things. Are some of them doors? Archaeologists don't want you to know!
A: Okay...
B: My research has revealed that there are hills all over the world! Some of them could have hobbit holes in them, but archaeologists are too scared to investigate!
A: Look--
B: I had a second breakfast just this morning! Archaeologists can't explain that!
A: I don't think anyone can explain you.

The truth about Atlantis is: it’s a made up place made up by a guy who liked making up made up places.

| Tagged archaeology, Atlantis, Tolkien

Poster

Posted on February 28, 2021 by tabulacandida

There are still plenty of mysteries in history for us to wonder about. “How did people put rocks on top of other rocks?” is not one of them.

| Tagged archaeology, Egypt, history, Stonehenge

Post

Posted on December 27, 2020 by tabulacandida

It’s a lot like regular archaeology, actually, you just replace “ritual object” with “kinky sex toy.”

| Tagged archaeology, sex

Code

Posted on March 29, 2020 by tabulacandida

Lara Croft, tomb inspector.

| Tagged archaeology, Indiana Jones

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