Tabula Candida

Doodles of a distracted historian

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Tag Archives: Tolkien

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Mordor

Posted on September 5, 2021 by tabulacandida
Boromir: Okay, okay, you acn have walking, but one does not sumply rollerblade into Mordor!
Legolas (rolling by): Speak for yourself, dude.

No one said anything about windsurfing.

| Tagged Tolkien | Leave a comment

Shire

Posted on May 19, 2021 by tabulacandida
A: Ugh, did you hear there's another new show that's supposed to reveal the “truth” about Atlantis?
B: Pft. Atlantis is easy mode. I'm a Shire truther.
A: Uhh...
B: Look, here are hundreds of pictures of round green things. Are some of them doors? Archaeologists don't want you to know!
A: Okay...
B: My research has revealed that there are hills all over the world! Some of them could have hobbit holes in them, but archaeologists are too scared to investigate!
A: Look--
B: I had a second breakfast just this morning! Archaeologists can't explain that!
A: I don't think anyone can explain you.

The truth about Atlantis is: it’s a made up place made up by a guy who liked making up made up places.

| Tagged archaeology, Atlantis, Tolkien | Leave a comment

Fantasy

Posted on September 30, 2020 by tabulacandida
Before Game of Thrones
A: Real fantasy is about unlikely heroes going on a quest to stop the return of an ancient evil. Anything else is for children.
B: Oh, come on, I love Tolkien as much as the next nerd, but fantasy doesn't have to be limited to just rewriting The Lord of the Rings. Fantasy can explore all aspects of human experience. The possibilities are literally endless!
After Game of Thrones
A: Real fantasy is about gratuitous death and naked boobies. Anything else is for children.
B (facepaliming): Urgh...

Of course, real fantasy is and has always been about White Dudes Doing Stuff.

SARCASM
| Tagged books, fantasy, television, Tolkien | 2 Comments

Old

Posted on January 16, 2019 by tabulacandida

Meddle not in the affairs of professors, for they are grumpy and haven’t had their coffee yet.

| Tagged books, professor, students, Tolkien | Leave a comment

Meeting

Posted on January 31, 2018 by tabulacandida

Notify the chair of the subcommittee on sallies and rampages to begin a report on the feasibility of mustering at dawn for wrath and ruin.

| Tagged academia, meeting, Tolkien | 3 Comments

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