Ghosts

Scrooge is visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. It gets tense.

If the Ghost of Christmas Subjunctive were there it would change the mood.

Magi

My main takeaway from “The Gift of the Magi” is that O. Henry doesn’t know how hair works.

Saints

According to the restraining order, St. Patrick must stay at least one month away from St. Valentine.

Christmas

This atheist wishes you all peace, joy, and love in whatever holiday(s) you’re celebrating, and if you’re not celebrating anything, I hope you have a wonderful day. Even if you’re a Mac user.

Carols

Please send hate mail written on tear-stained pages torn out of copies of Atlas Shrugged.