Word

“Narrative privateer” is also acceptable.

Achievement

Bonus points for referring to yourself in the third person.

Then and Now

I’ve got to get back to work on the paper, no time to make anything for dinner, I’ll just microwave some ramen.

Procrastination

Being on a deadline just translates into: “I’d better tighten up all the kitchen cabinet knobs right now!”

Introduction

You should also apply the Patrick Stewart test to your conclusion.