Classics

The greatest achievement of modern scholarship may have been taking a literature full of stabbing, racy sex, and dirty jokes and making it stultifyingly boring.

Odyssey

It’s somewhere above the Iliad but less than Horace.

Trip

Best not to think about what that whole thing about stabbing a giant in the eye was about.

Homer

The Aeneid is just Homer fanfic.

Odyssey

Which makes it either the worst diet plan ever or the best, depending on your point of view.