Waiter

“Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!”

“Hold on, I need to document that for my portfolio.”

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Salesman

The Iliad, Macbeth, Moby Dick, Les Miserables, The Great Gatsby, The Old Man and the Sea–the classic high school English reading list is a parade of guys who aren’t as successful as they feel entitled to be. So, this goes out to the high school English teachers out there: are you guys okay? Do you want to talk or anything?