A: I have 12 apples, Julie has 7 apples, and Nate has 5 apples. We want to take half of all our apples on the whale-watching trip, but the captain is kind of intense and creepy, and he keeps fingering a harpoon and muttering “I'll find that white whale yet.” What should we do?
B: Uh...
Caption: Somehow, all my math and English classes completely failed to prepare me for this moment.

“Would it help to know that the apples are spherical and the boat is an infinite frictionless plane?”

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