Grants

Administrator (via Zoom): If you want to get tenure, you're going to have to put more effort into your grant writing.
Professor: So, if I want to keep the job you hired me to do, I have to find someone else to pay me for it?
Administrator: Now you're getting it! I mean, you didn't expect us to pay you, did you? That would be pretty funny!

Money’s tight, you know. The second assistant vice president for online marketing integration needs a new swimming pool, and those things aren’t cheap!

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