A: How was the remote conference?
B: So different! No driving three hours to an out-of-the-way state college, no bad coffee and stale danish for breakfast or soggy sandwiches for lunch, no hanging around making awkward small talk, no sitting through badly-chaired panels full of droning emeriti and hyperventilating grad students, just to give a fifteen-minute talk to a mostly empty room!
A: Wow, so, will you do another one?
B: Never ever ever, not for a million bucks.

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